Memories

My last Father's Day card I bought for Dad.
I last spoke to Dad on Father's Day 1998.

Dad is very special to me. He always thought I had a good brain and I could do good things with it if I used it. I strived to do good partly because Dad and Mom believed I could do good. While we were growing up, I remember Dad was strict, but we always knew he loved us. So did everyone else we hung out with. He was always checking up on us which drove us crazy when we were teenagers. Our friends would say, “Uh oh, here comes Mr. Fleming!” It’s funny how those same friends, years later would remember those times and say, “What a great Dad you have! We all knew him because he was always around checking up on you. Now that I’m a parent, I totally understand where he was coming from.” They knew, like we knew how very much we were loved and that’s why he was strict. With three girls to worry about, it’s no wonder. And believe me, we were no angels. To hear Dad talk though, you knew that no matter where we were, we were never far from his thoughts and his heart.

Everything I ever got grounded for was justified, but I also learned from my sisters and seemed to be able to wiggle out of things. Except when Dad caught Sharon Scott (his fourth daughter) and I hitchhiking. We had jumped in the ditch several times, whenever a gold car turned the corner down the road. Finally, we decided that Dad wouldn’t be coming. We were tired of jumping in the ditch and getting a little disheveled. We decided that the gold car at the corner could not be Dad…but it was!!! I was grounded for a long time for that one. I thought he was being mean, but know now that it was because he was scared of what could happen to us if some crazy picked us up.

Dad saved my life once when I was little. It was in North Bay, Ontario and we had a lot of snow. Adda, me and the neighbors were building a snow fort. I decided I wanted to go in it even though Adda told me not to. Well, it caved in on me and I couldn’t breath. Adda ran and got Dad who dug me out in the nick of time. I have claustrophobia to this day and I think that’s why! Thank God Dad was there!!

Dad and his twin sister Ethel were the youngest of eight kids. Dad loved his family dearly and regaled us with many “growing up on the farm stories”. Dad loved being around people and was very sociable. He’d chat you up about anything. Many people have told me after he died how kind and nice they thought Dad was. He was very kind-hearted. He always worried about his wife, kids, brothers and sisters, friends, etc. Anyone he cared about that was in trouble or had been through a bad time, Dad was there for. One clear memory for me is when Sharon Scott was going through a bad time. Dad put his hands on her shoulders and said, “Sharon, Joyce and I love you and we are always here for you. You are always welcome here and we will do anything we can to help you.” …and they did. I cry to this day when I think about it because that is the kind of people Dad and Mom are. And that is how they taught us to be. Anyone who ever did wrong to Dad, he forgave and his indomitable spirit would overcome it. That is another thing I have learned from him, forgiveness.

I felt so cherished by Dad that when he died suddenly of a heart attack, I was overcome with grief. It was so hard to lose someone who loved me so much. I know now that he lives on, but I still miss him so much. And it is hard to see Mom without him as she goes through her life now. They were married for almost 45 wonderful years. They were sooo happy and did everything together. Only her faith in God and the support of her family and friends has helped her to bear it. She knows she’ll see him again, but she will never stop missing him. Their marriage set such a good example for us. Dad always called Mom his “Shining Star” and I know he cherishes her still.

I think that God doesn’t change when your loved one is going, but he will make sure that you are cared for. Dad was suppose to come and visit Bruce, me, Steve and Lucas on Wednesday, June 24^th, 1998 to see our first home that we had just purchased. Something made him decide to come a week early. Maybe the fact that Uncle Mac was over from Saskatchewan to watch some Canada Cup baseball. I am so thankful that he came early, because otherwise, I would not have got to see him. And when he was here, I was worried that he had lost weight. He told me that he had never felt better in his life. What a blessing to have heard that. He felt good at the end, he wasn’t suffering in some hospital bed. Uncle Jack and Uncle Mac decided to go to Courtenay and see Hannah, Adda and Leif’s daughter who had been born 2 months earlier. Dad was so happy that Jack and Mac were over visiting. Jack was with Mom and Dad in the car when Dad had his heart attack. Dad wanted to go home and get his medication and wouldn’t pull into the hospital. When Uncle Jack realized what was happening, he said “Sid, pull over right now!”. We figure Jack was the only one Dad would have listened to since he was almost like a father to him. I hate to think what could have happened if Jack hadn’t of got Dad to pull over. There were two doctors who were going by on their way to work. They stopped and started CPR immediately. There was nothing they could do. Mac was with Adda and Hannah and they were paged at the restaurant. Uncle Jack and Uncle Mac were a Godsend to us. We were so distraught and even though they had just watched their little brother died, they were so strong, for us. I believe God sent them there for Dad’s last few days and to help us through it.

I had a vision about three days after Dad died. I wrote about it and it is on the site. I also re-wrote Dad’s experience that he had after his Dad died. Some people may not believe it or think our minds made it up, but I am convinced. And along with that conviction comes that knowledge that Dad is okay, has had a reunion with his Mom and Dad (Charles and Arretta Fleming) , brother Lloyd and sister Gertie; his in-laws (Nicholas and Janet Bosko) and his many other loved ones who crossed over before him.

Dad was the best Dad in the world to me and when I pray, I thank God for giving him to me for as long as he did. And for giving me such a special Dad who showed me nothing but love from the time I was a baby. I will carry Dad and his values and principles with me in my heart throughout the rest of my life. And I will keep his memory alive for Lucas who was only four when he died and for his other grandchildren, and for the rest of us who loved him best. We will talk about him, tell funny stories, look at pictures, pray for him, remember always the love he lavished on us and pass it on to our children.

“They that love beyond the world cannot be separated by death.
Death is nothing save the limit of our sight.”

Until we meet again, mizpah (the Lord watch between you and me when we are apart from each other) Dad. You are always in my heart.

A Father's Day card that I found after Dad died.
It expresses so beautifully what is in my heart.

Memories Page One

Memories
Page One