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Marriage in
Heaven?
Could it be possible? Most people long
for it - those who are in a good marriage often times are saddened when
they think of Jesus' words as recorded in Matthew 22:23-32 (also Mark
12:18-27 and Luke 20:27-38). Even many of those who have suffered
through the torments of a bad marriage or who have never married
still long for the ideal of true marriage love.
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Jesus replied,
"You are in error because you do not know the Scriptures or
the power of God. At the resurrection people will neither marry
nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven.
But about the resurrection of the dead - have you not read what
God said to you, 'I am the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and
the God of Jacob'? He is not the God of the dead but of the living."
Matthew 22:29-32 |
And if there is no marriage
in Heaven, does this indicate that we are without gender when we cross
over into the next life? An honest person is going to feel sick about
these teachings - way deep inside, it sounds hideous. Others have managed
to remove themselves from thinking on these questions and in blind
obedience to what church leaders have taught for centuries, have simply
told themselves that it won't matter on the other side - we must accept
what God has planned for us. But what has God planned for us? Can it be so
radically different from this life? Can God take us, snap His fingers and
change us in an instant? And if that is true, then why did God institute
marriage in the first place? All through the Bible, there are all kinds of
stories and imagery referring to marriage - if marriage was so unimportant
in the life to come, then why did God place special emphasis on it in this
life?
Well, I have good news for
all of you - we have simply been taught incorrectly how to view this
passage. Yes, that's right - we are interpreting that passage through our
literal eyes (understanding) and not our spiritual eyes. Remember, Heaven is in the
Spiritual World - and in order to understand correctly how Heaven works,
we better get used to viewing things in a spiritual light.
Emanuel Swedenborg, in the 18th
century wrote about Marriage in Heaven. Yes, it does exist! For those who
are in a happy marriage in this life, they will simply and delightedly
continue the marriage on the other side. For those who have failed in
marriage and still cling to the ideal of marriage love, they will meet
their "soulmate". Swedenborg never used the term soulmate, for
it is basically a modern term. But the meaning is very clear in his
writings. For those in a marriage that is less than ideal, both parties
will meet their respective soulmates and they will be indescribably
happy.
Okay, still haven't explained
how to look at that passage, have I? In this world, people enter into the
marriage for other reasons besides spiritual - there may be spiritual
reasons for that marriage, or no spiritual reasons. But there are other
elements besides spiritual for marriage - many people marry for financial
reasons - for social status, for physical attraction; the reasons are too
numerous to try to cite here. The heavenly marriage is based solely on the
spiritual bonding of two individuals - and that is why legal marriage on
this side is not enough to bond two individuals together here on the other
side - there must be spiritual bonding. And that is why when engaged
people lose their loved ones in death that they very often say that they
were already married in their minds - this is a true statement regardless
of the legal or sexual bondings that did or did not take place - the fact
that it was a spiritual bonding is what cements them together.
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From
Rev. Lee Woofenden's Answering
the Lord's Invitation
Now
let's talk about marriage and heaven.
Swedenborg
departed from traditional Christians by saying that angels are
married, and that marriage is, indeed, eternal. This is one of the
beautiful jewels of our church.
Even
today, most traditional Christians--especially the more
conservative and literalistic ones--will tell you that there is no
marriage in heaven. This is based on a misunderstanding of a
single statement of Jesus recorded in the Gospels of Matthew
(22:30), Mark (12:25), and Luke (20:35): "In the resurrection
people will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be
like the angels in heaven." This isn't the place to give a
full exposition of the Lord's words here. However, it is important
to realize that the Greek words used this passage are not talking
about the state of being married, but about the act of getting
married. And spiritually speaking (and Jesus does speak
spiritually in his teachings and parables) getting married
is something we must do here on earth if we are going to be
married in heaven. We'll return to that in a minute.
Those
who think this saying of Jesus applies to the state of
being married aren't paying attention to what he said a little
earlier in Matthew, in his teaching about divorce:
Haven't
you read that at the beginning the Creator made them male and
female, and said, "For this reason a man will leave his
father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will
become one flesh"? So they are no longer two, but one.
Therefore what God has joined together, let humans not separate.
(Matthew 19:4-6)
Now,
the things that God does are not temporary, but eternal (see
Ecclesiastes 3:14). So if God created male and female, and joined
them together into one, then marriage is not merely a temporary
joining that lasts for our lifetime here on earth only, but an
eternal union that lasts forever in heaven. This is assuming, of
course, that a particular marriage is a relationship that was
truly made by God, and not a mismatch made by human beings.
Further,
as I've already mentioned, in the Bible heaven is often compared
to a marriage. And of course, this refers to the marriage of the
Lord with the church. But we humans, created in the image and
likeness of God, also have in our own individual relationships a
likeness of that eternal union of Christ and his bride, the
church: we have the marriage relationship of a man and a woman.
And like the marriage of Christ and the church, the marriage of
man and woman is also eternal.
This
teaching can be gained from a broader-based and more careful
reading of the Bible than traditional Christians usually engage
in. It is also the testimony of Emanuel Swedenborg, who tells us
from his personal experience in heaven that angels are married. We
gain the insight from Swedenborg that being "like the angels
in heaven" means being married, since in heaven, a married
couple is not called two angels, but one angel. As taught
throughout the Scriptures, the whole atmosphere of heaven is an
atmosphere of marriage! And this teaching that we will spend
eternity with the person we love most in a heavenly, God-given
marriage is indeed one of the precious gems of genuine
Christianity.
If
you'd like to learn more about this, Swedenborg devotes a whole
chapter in his book Heaven and Hell to marriage in
heaven--not to mention an entire volume, Marriage Love,
(traditionally titled Conjugial Love) to marriage as an
eternal, spiritual union.
Answering
the Lord's Invitation
Rev. Lee Woofenden
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Oh yes, what about the
angels? Swedenborg again has something amazing to say about that - angels
are NOT a separate race of created beings - they are simply people who
have lived in this life previously and have chosen to love God and to love
their neighbor. That's right - each and every time we do a kindness for
another individual, without selfish regard to our own self, we are being
an "angel-in-training!"
Okay - so now we know that it
is the spiritual bonding that is the true connection. Does this mean that
there is no physical bonding of bodies in Heaven - in other words, there
is no gender and therefore no sexual union? According to Emanuel
Swedenborg, our spiritual bodies look very similar to our physical world
bodies - so much so, that people in Heaven could not tell the difference,
with the exception that they were blemish free - perfected bodies. We
retain our image of male and female. Swedenborg wrote that married
people in Heaven do have sexual relations - and he explained that actually
sexual union in its highest form is part of the spiritual bonding between
marriage partners.
What about gays? Swedenborg
never addressed the issue of homosexuality; however, as I read through his
writings (22 volumes to date of 35), I am convinced that gays too will
unite with the one of their heart's desire and enjoy marriage. Remember,
it is the joining of inner, spiritual bonds that make a true
marriage. One branch of the Swedenborgian Church (Convention) has
ordained a gay minister. For more in-depth reading: Marriage
as the Conjugial Metaphysic of the Divine
I know from the experience of
having my fiancé, Jim, returning to talk to me 23 years after his death
that he is my soulmate. That bond never died and can never die for we were
spiritually married and continue that relationship into eternity. Here is
a quotation from Swedenborg that I treasure - may it also give you comfort
and peace as well:
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Couples united like
this in marriage think and breathe permanence, and their eternal
happiness is based on this idea. For all these reasons they are no
longer two but one person - that is, one flesh. To spiritual eyes
it is plainly clear that they cannot be torn apart by either one's
death.
This new thing should be added to
these observations: that these two are not even separated by the
death of one, since the spirit of the deceased husband or wife
continues to live with the husband or wife who is not yet
deceased. And this continues until the other one's death, when
they meet again and reunite themselves and love each other more
tenderly than before because they are in the spiritual world.
Love in Marriage, no. 321
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