Barb's Experiences


I am not very comfortable with the term "medium" as applied to someone who is able to talk with and hear from those who have passed from this physical life. I have had such contact myself, it has been personal and for the most part limited to communication with Johnny, my fiancé who was killed in action in the Vietnam War in 1968. Accounts of these communications between us are provided elsewhere on this website.  

As discussed in some detail in the essay "What About Mediums?" on this site, the term "medium" has been historically applied to those who "talk to the dead", and as that essay explains, there has been significant misunderstanding over what is meant by the term "dead" in the first place. When I talk with Johnny, I am not talking to someone who is "dead" in any sense of the word. Indeed, I have never talked with anyone who is more ALIVE than Johnny is. Unbound now by the frailties of the flesh, Johnny lives in a freedom that I am aware I can only partially sense; his spirit flows with a vitality and joy that is not known here in the physical earth.  

There are no doubt those who would frown and shake a pointed finger at me, while uttering dire warnings about the dangers I court, about the evil that must attend this "conjuring of spirits". To these, I can only say what the truth is: that in the past six years during which I have had this communication, Johnny has never once spoken an ill word to me about anyone living or passed over; he has never once spoken in hatred of anyone or encouraged me to hate; he has never once spoken in anger at anyone or encouraged me to be angry. He has spoken much to me of forgiveness and understanding; he has shared of himself with me in a manner beyond selfless; he has shown me a beauty of spirit that has fostered wonder and awe in my soul; and he has taught me the meaning of Love far beyond what I could ever have imagined. And Johnny is just one man, washed now in the nearer Light of God...what then must God Himself be? Further, these same positive things cannot be said about most of the people I have known or now know here in this life on earth, including myself.  

It is my preference to use the word "channel" for those who can stand in the gap, those who can be the relay between the living here on earth and the living in the world of spirit, when such a relay is needed. I believe that anyone here on earth who has lost a loved one to the world of spirit, can learn to talk to and hear from that person, but I also believe that doubt is the Enemy of such communication, just as any disbelief is the Enemy of any spiritual gift. The "channels" are among us to assist us in dispelling doubt.   

Made use of in this way, "channels" can perform necessary services. They can provide to us the proof that our loved ones indeed do live on, or give us a validation that supports our own communication experiences. The best use of a "channel" is for these purposes and nothing more. No "channel" would be of value to me for what my heart most desires: talking with Johnny whenever I need or want to. For that, I needed to find my own path and do my own learning.   

But, a couple of years ago, a "channel" was very instrumental in confirming to me that I do, indeed and without question, have contact with Johnny. And in my occasional moments of doubt, in my times when the disappointments attached to this life in the flesh cause me to question even the value of the air that I breathe, this one experience with the "channel" stands forth like a Rock against which my doubts must break.   

This, then, is the account of my reading, done by "channel" Shelley Peck of New York.   

This is a narrative from notes taken during a reading done for me on 4/23/97 by Shelley Peck. The reading was done by telephone. I did not tape-record the reading, but took notes throughout. I had never met Ms. Peck, nor had I ever spoken with her prior to this reading. Before the reading, I had made a list of names of all those I could think of who were close to me and who had died.  

Her instructions were to answer any questions with just a Yes or No, and I made every effort to do exactly that with a few short exceptions. I was also quite careful to otherwise remain as quiet as I could be, to not "give away" by exclamations or other noises or changes in breathing, that I felt this or that with regard to anything she said. My purpose in being very careful in this way, was so that the reading could be as "un-influenced" by my reactions as possible, because I knew that otherwise I would later look back and wonder if Ms. Peck had made guesses based upon some sound I might have made.  

Just before beginning the reading, she asked for my birth date and I gave it. She then took 3 minutes away from the phone which she said was for the purpose of doing a prayer for me.   

I will add that I was particularly interested to see if there would be any communication from Johnny, my fiancé who had been killed in action in Vietnam in 1968. In fact, I had talked with him previously about the upcoming reading, and had encouraged him to concentrate on getting through to Ms. Peck with material that I would be able to recognize as being from him.  

I've included some comments in brackets. 

START: Shelley began by saying she had a male with a name starting with the letter B. I didn't have any "B" names on my list, so I said "No".  She then asked "Is there an Andrew?" and again I said "No".   She then came back to the letter B and said "Do you know a Bill? The name is Bill." And I couldn't place that, and then she said, "He says he is your uncle. Do you know an Uncle Bill?"  That rang a bell -- I did have an Uncle Bill, but had not known him well. I'd forgotten he had died some years ago, and his name therefore wasn't on the list I'd made. 

Shelley said, "He says he is connected to you on your mother's side. He wants you to tell your mother Hello for him."   [Uncle Bill was married to my mother's sister, and he was like a brother to my mother]    Shelley asked if Bill had died from cancer, and I did not know how he had died, but I didn't think it was cancer. She said she was picking up "throat cancer" but not that he had died from it.   [After the reading, I called my mother and found out that Bill had died from cirrhosis, but some years prior to his death he had throat cancer that was cured.]  

Next to come through was Johnny. Shelley saw a ball being bounced to her, and told me that this signifies a young person. She first said: "Your husband....your husband...your husband is living, right?" and I said "Yes."  Then she said, "Did you lose a child?" My answer: No.   She said, "Did someone in your family lose a child? A sister lose a child?" I said: No.  She said she was picking up a young person who had been  lost. I then said "A young person was lost, but this was outside our family, not a child of our family". 

Then she said: "This person passed before the age of 30?" I said: Yes.  She said: "A problem to the head area?" I said: Yes.  She said: "Not an illness. There was a major impact to the head like a gunshot. Was it a blast of some kind?" I said: Yes.  She said: "Did something explode? The person passed due to an explosion." I said: Yes. She said: "This was a freak explosion." I said: Yes.   [It was a mortar round, and normally they can be heard -- this one wasn't because a ridgeline blocked the sound.] 

She said: "This person is a male." I said: Yes. She said: "Did the explosion have to do with his line of work?" I said: Yes.  She went on to say that the young male was a Marine, she saw a Marine uniform, and that he was telling her that he was "in a war that wasn't a real war", so she thought that it was either Vietnam or the Gulf War, but she did not know which. I clarified that it was the Vietnam War.   She picked up that he was killed near the end of his tour, and said that he told her that this had been a source of great upset and problem to me, the fact that he had come through all those months safely only to die at the end when he was almost home. This is correct.  

He told her I had a ring that connected me to him -- she thought this meant I still had an engagement ring or some ring he had given me, but I said: No.   She insisted there was a ring, and said Johnny told her that the ring was near the phone, that I had it near the phone. I said: Yes.   [I do have a ring that commemorates him, and at the time of the call I was wearing it on the hand holding the phone.] She said he had told her I had a bracelet with his name on it. I said: Yes.  [I have a bracelet that is engraved with his name and rank.]  She said he told her I wear something around my neck on a chain, a medal, that was his, with his initials. I said: Yes.  [In the Fall of 1967, I had two silver St. Christopher medals engraved with his initials. I sent one of them to him, and kept the other to wear, myself. After his death, I asked his mother if the St. Chris medal I'd sent him had been returned with his effects, and if so, could I have it? And she sent it. I now wear both of the St. Chris medals together.]  

She said he showed her that I had been in a beauty pageant my junior year in high school. At first, I said No to this. Then I did remember I had been in one that year -- I'd really forgotten all about it.   She said he showed her that there had been a newspaper article written about him and that I had a copy of it here in the room I was sitting in while on the telephone. I said Yes.   

[An article was written about him and his best hometown buddy, who was also killed in Vietnam, and was published in the major state newspaper.]   

She asked if I was sitting in a bedroom, because she saw a fold-out bed -- to this I said No. She then said Johnny showed her that the room I was in was like a "den" and that I have a computer in here.   [This last was interesting -- in fact, the room formerly was a bedroom, and there used to be a fold-out sofa-bed in the room, but now the room contains shelves of books, wall hangings, and my computer, etc.] 

He told her that my husband and I have silk flowers and dried flowers in our bedroom, no fresh flowers, but the ones we have there mean happiness for me.   [The statement is correct, the silk ones were part of my wedding bouquet and the dried ones are from a bouquet my husband got me for Valentine's Day.] 

She said he told her that I have some of his medals in my bedroom. I said: No. She insisted that he was saying there were medals of his in my bedroom, but this made no sense to me.   [After the reading, when I related this to my husband, he took me up to our bedroom -- his medals from Vietnam were sitting back on his dresser. Since my husband and Johnny were both in the same battalion in Vietnam, the medals my husband has are the exact same unit and campaign medals that Johnny would have had.] 

Shelley said Johnny told her I have grandchildren that have been born in the last year and a half, and that the last one born is a girl. I said: Yes.  Near the end, she got the name. She got a J or a G. I said nothing. Then she got Jim or John. I still said nothing. Then she solidly got "John". I then said: Yes. -- END 

The above are things that did connect at the time or shortly after the reading. There were some things she said that didn't make sense to me at that time or for a while afterward. For example, she said Johnny showed her a small kangaroo and kangaroo's pocket, and this meant nothing to me at the time. However, I later realized what that connection likely was: I am writing a novel based upon the relationship that Johnny and I had. In this novel, his character's name is "Joey". A "joey" is a baby kangaroo, which rides in the pocket of its mother.   She also got an initial "R" that meant nothing to me, and a birthday or anniversary in March that meant nothing to me. Also a "Michael" or "Mitchell" and these names mean nothing to me.   The matters she knew about, could not have been known from another source at the time. For example, although an "Uncle Bill" may be common, the connection between MY Uncle Bill and throat cancer was unknown to me during the reading. And I think it is interesting that Peck was specific about the type of cancer. Also the details about items of jewelry I wear that are connected to Johnny. Also the reference to silk and dried flowers in the bedroom, as well as the insistence upon "his medals" being in the bedroom. 

In particular, the item about the high school beauty pageant stands out to me, as I had forgotten it myself. I can't see any way Peck could know about these things, and she did not appear to be fishing for the information, i.e., she did not say I had silk and dried flowers in my house and then start naming rooms until I said Yes. Instead, she said I had them in the bedroom and that they have particular meaning to me (in other words, they aren't just there for decoration as the majority would have fact, they ARE there for particular reasons in my house).  


Music is The Prism (Colors of Love)
© 1999 Bruce DeBoer