Genesis
24:29-54 Speaking to Rebekah's
family
Now
Rebekah had a brother named Laban,
and he hurried out to the man at
the spring. As soon as he had seen
the nose ring, and the bracelets
on his sister's arms, and had
heard Rebekah tell what the man
said to her, he went out to the
man and found him standing by the
camels near the spring.
"Come, you who are blessed by
the Lord," he said. "Why
are you standing out here? I have
prepared the house and a place for
the camels."
So
the man went to the house, and the
camels were unloaded. Straw and
fodder were brought for the
camels, and water for him and his
men to wash their feet. Then food
was set before him, but he said,
"I will not eat until I have
told you what I have to say."
"Then
tell us," he said.
So
he said, "I am Abraham's
servant. The Lord has blessed my
master abundantly, and he has
become wealthy. He has given him
sheep and cattle, silver and gold,
menservants and maidservants, and
camels and donkeys. My master's
wife Sarah has borne him a son in
his old age, and he has given him
everything he owns. And my master
made me swear an oath, and said,
'You must not get a wife for my
son from the daughters of the
Canaanites, in whose land I live,
but go to my father's family and
to my own clan, and get a wife for
my son.'
"Then
I asked my master, 'What if the
woman will not come back with me?'
"He
replied, 'The Lord, before whom I
have walked, will send his angel
with you and make your journey a
success, so that you can get a
wife for my son from my own clan
and from my father's family. Then,
when you go to my clan, you will
be released from my oath even if
they refuse to give her to
you--you will be released from my
oath.'
"When
I came to the spring today, I
said, 'O Lord, God of my master
Abraham, if you will, please grant
success to the journey on which I
have come. See, I am standing
beside this spring; if a maiden
comes out to draw water and I say
to her, "Please let me drink
a little water from your
jar," and if she says to me,
"Drink, and I'll draw water
for your camels too," let her
be the one the Lord has chosen for
my master's son.'
"Before
I finished praying in my heart,
Rebekah came out, with her jar on
her shoulder. She went down to the
spring and drew water, and I said
to her, 'Please give me a drink.'
"She
quickly lowered her jar from her
shoulder and said, 'Drink, and
I'll water your camels too.' So I
drank, and she watered the camels
also.
"I
asked her, 'Whose daughter are
you?'
"She
said, 'The daughter of Bethuel son
of Nahor, whom Milcah bore to
him.'
"Then
I put the ring in her nose and the
bracelets on her arms, and I bowed
down and worshipped the Lord. I
praised the Lord, the God of my
master Abraham, who had led me on
the right road to get the
granddaughter of my master's
brother for his son. Now if you
will show kindness and
faithfulness to my master, tell
me; and if not, tell me, so I may
know which way to turn."
Laban
and Bethuel answered, "This
is from the Lord; we can say
nothing to you one way or the
other. Here is Rebekah; take her
and go, and let her become the
wife of your master's son, as the
Lord has directed."
When
Abraham's servant heard what they
said, he bowed down to the ground
before the Lord. Then the servant
brought out gold and silver
jewelry and articles of clothing
and gave them to Rebekah; he also
gave costly gifts to her brother
and to her mother. Then he and the
men who were with him ate and
drank and spent the night there.
Matthew
5:13 You are the salt of the
earth
You
are the salt of the earth. But if
salt has lost its taste, how can
its saltiness be restored? It is
no longer good for anything, but
is thrown out and trampled under
foot.
Arcana
Coelestia #3158 The marriage of
truth and goodness
In
the literal meaning, this chapter
deals with the engagement and
marriage of Rebekah to Isaac. But
the internal meaning deals with
the introduction and joining
together of truth and
goodness--for this is spiritual
engagement and spiritual marriage.
In both cases, there must be
freedom to consider and decide
upon the union. It is well known
that this is necessary for
engagement and marriage. It is not
so well known that it is also
necessary for the introduction and
joining together of truth and
goodness, because they are not
visible to our natural mind, and
these things happen without our
noticing or thinking about them.
Yet this activity continues moment
by moment in us when we are being
reformed and reborn. Specifically,
we experience a state of freedom
when truth is being joined to
goodness in us.
This
is from the Lord; we can say
nothing to you one way or the
other. Here is Rebekah; take her
and go, and let her become the
wife of your master's son, as the
Lord has directed. (Genesis
24:50-51)
This
is the third in our series on the
divine marriage. In our story two
weeks ago, Abraham charged his
head servant to find a wife for
his son Isaac. He gave very
specific instructions: He was not
to find a wife from among the
locals. The locals were not of the
same mind as the Hebrews. They
were pagans who worshiped many
gods, and they didn't worship the
God of Israel. Abraham wanted for
his son a wife from his own clan,
who would be compatible with him
not just on the social level, but
on the religious level.
In
our story last week, Abraham's
servant set out with great
faithfulness to carry out that
task. He traveled to Haran, at the
northern edge of the Fertile
Crescent, and came to the town
where the rest of Abraham's clan
was still living. The servant went
to the well outside the town, and
there he met Rebekah.
In
today's story, he goes to
"meet the parents," so
to speak. He goes to Rebekah's
home and meets her
family--especially her brother
Laban and her father Bethuel. And
he is given a warm welcome. They
provide fodder for his camels, and
they give the servant and his men
water to wash their feet--a
customary way of showing
hospitality to guests. They also
set food before them. But the
servant is on a mission, and he
wants to carry it out right away.
He says, "I will not eat
until I have told you my
story." He then recounts to
Rebekah's family the whole story
of what had taken place, from the
time his master Abraham charged
him with his mission to the time
he met Rebekah at the well.
This
may seem to be a repeat. But it is
different the second time around.
The first time the story is told,
the events are actually happening.
The second time, the events are
being shared with all of Rebekah's
family. He is telling the whole
story to the family so that they
will have just as much knowledge
of the situation as he does.
He
starts out by saying, in effect
that Isaac is a "good
catch." He is wealthy; you
are not going to have to worry
about Rebekah's well-being if you
send her with me to marry this
man. But then he moves on to the
more spiritual and providential
side of the events: about God
guiding him to Rebekah, and the
test he proposed in prayer to God:
Let her be the one who, when I
say, "please give me a
drink," replies, "Not
only will I give you a drink, but
I will also water your
camels." And as we said last
week, this showed that Rebekah was
a woman of good character: a woman
who was ready to serve, and to
give a little extra. She was a
woman of intelligence and
initiative. And she seemed to be
just the person that God would
choose as a wife for Isaac, who
was to be the next in the line of
Israel's Patriarchs.
After
the servant tells the story, Laban
and Bethuel both give their
consent. They say: This is from
the Lord, what can we say about
it? It is the Lord's will. Take
her and go. And in next week's
reading, we will find that Rebekah
also gives her consent. So there
is a proposal, and in response
there is consent not just from the
woman herself, but from the whole
family, so that everyone is
involved in and supportive of this
union.
All
of this lays the foundation for
the spiritual story. Let's look at
it for a few minutes as we
continue on our current theme of
marriage.
This
story is all about consent, or
informed and thoughtful agreement.
When Abraham's servant came to the
household, he did not simply take
Rebekah and go. He could have come
with a raiding party and run off
with her--which was a fairly
common thing to do in those days.
Instead, he came and proposed
marriage on behalf of Isaac. He
wanted everyone involved to have
full knowledge; so he took the
time to met them and tell the
whole story. In this way, he
showed respect for the family to
which he was making this proposal.
He wanted them to be able to give
informed consent to the union.
Moving
to the spiritual level, we know
that for any connection to be
real, it must involve both our
head and our heart. Within us,
marriage is a union of our heart,
which is our loves, desires,
motives, and our head, which is
our thinking, rational,
intellectual part.
We
see in the story how this takes
place in us. Notice that the first
meeting is with Rebekah herself.
When we begin moving toward a new
phase of our life, it is our heart
that initially prompts us.
Everything we do ultimately comes
from the heart, just as it was
Rebekah, the woman, that the
servant first met and made
proposals to.
But
if we are going to be truly and
fully engaged in this new phase in
our life, our head must also
consent. Our heart usually guides
us right, but sometimes it may
not. Our head must look
thoughtfully at this possible new
phase of our life, and consider
whether it is what we really want,
and whether it is a good idea. In
the story, this is represented by
the servant telling the whole
story to the family so that they
can consider it and make up their
own minds. The head, represented
especially by Laban and Bethuel,
must give its consent.
Only
then can the heart give its full
assent--which is our story for
next week. Only then can Rebekah
say: Yes, I do want to go with you
and marry this man.
This
is the how it works out within us.
How does in work out in our
marriages with one another? What
happens as we move into a
marriage?
The
first thing that usually happens
is that we see someone, and there
is a spark; we feel an attraction.
We feel a stirring in our heart
toward that person, and it causes
us to watch him or her. Sometimes
it may be quite a while before we
actually say anything. In our
story for last week, the servant
watched and wondered: has God sent
me to the right one?
We
think more and more about the
other person. We make a point of
meeting and talking to him or her.
We know that we feel attraction to
the person. But we have to
consider whether it could really
work out. We have to bring our
head into it as well. We have to
consider whether this person is
compatible with our character--and
also whether there are any serious
personality problems that would
torpedo the marriage no matter how
good the match of personalities
may be.
And
here I would like to mention a
mistake that women are especially
vulnerable to: thinking that we
are going to "fix up"
the other person. We may say to
ourselves, for example, "Yes,
I know he's an alcoholic; but if I
love him enough, he'll sober
up." This sort of thinking
usually ends in tragedy and a
broken marriage. I believe that
God is telling us in our Bible
story that we must use our head,
and evaluate whether this person
we are attracted to is capable of
being in a marriage, and is also a
good fit for us. This is not a
matter of the head thwarting the
heart's desires. Rather, it is
making sure that the heart's
desires are together with our
mind, so that we can be fully one
in our commitment to the marriage.
We
must engage our head,
evaluate, consider, and decide
whether we think this will be a
good union and a good marriage. It
is only when we have gone through
the process of thinking it out
that it moves back to the heart,
and our heart can give full
assent. It is only then that we
are completely at one within
ourselves in moving into this
relationship. When our heart says
yes and our head says yes, then
and only then can we be fully
united with the other person,
heart, mind, and body. Then we can
have a full marriage.
Of
course, things don't always work
out the way we want them to. And
even if we don't find a loving
marriage here on earth, we can
still have a good life.
To
drive this point home, I would
like to read you the story of an
attempt at love by none other than
Emanuel Swedenborg. Swedenborg was
a lifelong bachelor. And of
course, he did wonderful things
with his life, even though he
experienced disappointment when it
came to marriage. Swedenborg loved
the company of women, and very
much wanted to be married. When he
was a young man, like other young
men moving up in the world and
starting a career, he hoped to
have a wife and a family to love,
and to make a home with. I'd like
to read the story from The
Swedenborg Epic, by Cyriel
Odhner Sigstedt--a wonderful
biography of Swedenborg. Some of
the story has already been told as
we begin:
What,
then, went wrong with his hopes
for a marriage with Emerentia
Polhem? An answer to this is
contained in a document read
before a Stockholm society in
1789. The young lady's brother,
Chamberlain Gabriel Polhem,
there states that while his
father was working on the
construction of locks at Trollhättan,
with Swedenborg as his
assistant, "the assessor
conceived a violent passion for
Polhem's second daughter,
Emerentia." But she, who
was only fifteen years of age,
could not be persuaded to enter
an engagement, whereupon her
father, who loved Swedenborg
very much, gave him a written
claim upon her in the future, in
the hope that when older she
would become more yielding; and
this contract her father obliged
her to sign.
However,
she fretted about it so much
every day that her brother,
Chamberlain Gabriel Polhem,
moved with compassion, stole the
contract from Swedenborg, whose
only comfort consisted in daily
perusing it, and who therefore
quickly missed his treasure. His
sorrow at this loss was so
evident that her father insisted
on knowing the cause; when by an
exercise of his authority he
gave orders that the lost
document be restored to him. But
when Swedenborg himself saw her
grief, he voluntarily
relinquished his right, and left
the house with a solemn oath
never again to let his thoughts
settle upon any woman, and still
less to enter into any other
engagement.
Popular
belief notwithstanding,
Swedenborg did not give up all
thoughts of marriage, for we now
have documentary evidence to
prove that many years later, he
sought the hand of another young
lady.
Even
later in Swedenborg's life, we
believe that he settled upon a
woman that he thought would be his
wife in the spiritual world. But
marriage was not to be his in this
life.
Besides
being a story of disappointment in
love, this is also a story of how
marriage must involve consent.
When Swedenborg saw that although
he had feelings for Emerentia
Polhem, she did not have feelings
for him, he released her. He knew
that it was not right, and that it
could not work if her heart did
not say "yes" to him.
Yet Swedenborg went on to have a
very good and full life, and to
accomplish a great deal in
science, engineering,
administration, and, of course, in
the realms of spirit. So we
certainly shouldn't get the idea
that if we don't find our mate
while we are still living here on
earth, our life is not worthwhile.
God has things for us to do
whether or not we happen to find
our partner here on earth.
Let's
move into the spiritual meaning
again. We know that in a marriage
there must be a proposal,
agreement, and consent. We know
that both people must be willing
to have the union take place. We
don't know quite as well that this
is also true of any union that
takes place within ourselves. We
have talked about the inner
marriage of head and heart. And
the very same process of proposal
and consent--or refusal--goes on
within us. Sometimes our head says
that it wants our life to go in a
particular direction, and our
heart says, "No, I don't want
to." Sometimes our heart says
that it really wants to do
something, and our head says,
"That's crazy, you do not
want to do that." And we go
ahead with something only when our
heart and our head can come to
some sort of agreement.
Swedenborg
tells us that the inner marriage
involves the same kind of
proposal, consideration, and
consent as a marriage between two
people. We go through the same
stages within ourselves as the
servant did when he approached
Rebekah (the heart), then her
brother and father (the head),
telling his story so that they
could consider it and give their
consent, which prepared the way
for Rebekah to whole-heartedly
embrace the marriage.
The
Lord went through the same process
in his life. He had within himself
a tremendous love for humanity.
Yet he could have decided that he
didn't want to follow that love.
He could have decided simply to
enjoy this one life he would have
on earth. But his heart was saying
that he wanted to live for
humanity. And his mind said: Yes,
but how?
With
his seeking mind he studied and
learned all the spiritual
knowledge of his day, especially a
knowledge of Scripture, which he
needed in order to see whether his
heart's desire could be fulfilled.
As a young man, he studied the
Scriptures and learned them
thoroughly--as we know from his
teachings and his conversations
with the scribes and Pharisees.
And he did gain the guidance to do
the work that he felt moved and
called to do.
He
had a desire to save humanity. He
saw that the people around him
were hurting, especially
inwardly--and his heart went out
to them. He also spent the time
necessary to gain the knowledge,
insight, and wisdom to do what his
heart prompted. Then he put his
whole self into that work. He had
a union of head and heart within
himself, and in the three years of
his public ministry he was
completely devoted, heart, mind,
and body, to reaching out to us
and showing us the way of life.
It
is the same union that we must
have within ourselves. Our heart
must propose, and our head must
consider, think it over, and
decide whether this is truly what
we want. And when our head sends
it back to our heart with a
"yes," then we have an
inner union--a union that will
encompass our heart, mind, body,
and soul.
This
is the union God is proposing to
us as well. He is saying to each
one of us: I want to come to you.
I want to be in your heart and in
your mind. I want to guide your
life.
Are
we ready to accept that proposal?
Are ready to say "yes"
to the Lord with both our mind and
our heart--with our whole self?
Part
4: The Divine Marriage:
Becoming One
Painting:
Rebekah by
Gustave-Henri Aubain, 1912
Music:
Dawn's First Light © Bruce De Boer
Used with Permission
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