James Gary Vance

The first year without James Gary

Well, actually it has been a little over a year now. It seems all I've done is sit back and watch life go by and allow all the hurt and loss I feel over losing James take over this year. I must say, this year has been the worse year and a half of my life, EVER! The hurt, pain, and anger over losing James Gary has ruled my entire life. I think I can honestly say, this is the lowest point of my life ever, until now.

It was just Yesterday I woke up and decided I had to back my life or everyday would be the same. I can no longer let the hurt and anger rule me, I also realized that it wouldn't bring my beautiful little boy back. When I first lost James, I could only think "I am going to do something for James"; I had to.

What I didn't realize is it would takes steps and they were steps I wasn't quite ready to take yet. So I made one step, which was the biggest step for me to take. That step was facing the fact that he was TRULY gone. When I created the first page of this website, I was just going through the first step, I just didn't realize it was the beginning of a lot of pain, hurt and anger I would face about losing him and I will be the first to say I was not ready mentally, emotionally or physically for the journey I was about to experience in life.

Looking back at it now is easy, but going through it then was the second hardest thing I've ever gone through, the first was losing my son. I am now starting my second step, I have no idea how many more steps are yet to come along in life; but I know I can not run from them. Thank you for sharing the steps with me, I'm sure if James were here to say Thanks; he would also. Now that I'm at "Step Two" I need to tell you the anger and hurt are still VERY strong, but I guess it always will be. I am now emotionally strong enough to fight for the rights of James Gary and every other stillborn child and the parents/family (whether your a single mother, a couple, a family member or sibling) of the child we lost.

First thing I would like every parent and family member of a stillborn child to look up the laws pertaining to the children we have lost. You will find, the laws pertaining to stillborn children can be cruel and very cold. I can tell you when I found out these laws existed in my state, I was furious. I was told Texas laws are the most CRUEL, I find all are when it comes to "Stillborn" Laws.

I ask any parent or family member who has lost a loved one and especially by Stillborn to sit back and answer this question: Is it true that James/(child lost) is not a person/child or has the rights as a person /child just because he didn't take one breath?? My answer: NO! No one can tell me that just because my son didn't have the opportunity to breathe a breath of this life I live is he not a child/person. But as sad as it is to say, that is the way some of the laws look at it. My son was a full term 8 lb 10 oz little boy just as your child may or may not have been. Maybe your child was a seven month old fetus, they are still your children and they were children and people..... Is your answer similar or just like this?? If so, then please help me make a difference to James, your loved one and children who will be born in this manner.... BE the voice for our lost lil ones, God knows they can't be heard by others ears.....only our ears hear them....

I'm in the progress of forming an Organization in memory of James and all children who haven't or will not have the choice of life. I think its my duty to my son to fight for his rights, he cant... I'm going to "fight for the rights of Stillborn Children". Because in all honesty, they have no rights.....why?? In the eyes of the law, they never lived because they never took a breath...That is a cruel thing to know....So, bare with me, I'm new to all of this...But anything you may learn or can do to help...feel free to email me the information on we will get it added on James Gary's website..

Please be patient on postings, I have met a wonderful "Angel" who was gracious enough to help me with this site and she has her own, so it may take a week or so to post things.....Her name is Judy and please visit her site: www.egogahan.com , her site really helped me see past a lot of pain and brought comfort to me....Her site is Gorgeous! If you have any comments or help to offer in reference to the J.G.Vance Organization ( in construction ) please email :

sherrylvance@yahoo.com

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